To The Class of 2013...

It’s graduation season again and videos of commencement speeches are making the rounds on various news stations and social networking sites.  As with all speeches subject to public scrutiny, some will be controversial, others humorous but for the most part…they’ll be forgettable.   I’m sorry.  That’s the nature of commencement speeches, I’m afraid, unless it’s delivered by someone super famous.

Even twenty years after graduation, we will remember our prom date’s name, we will remember who we marched next to on the way into the auditorium or athletic field, we might even remember whether or not the principal correctly pronounced our middle name, but I would wager that a large percentage of graduates will not remember who gave their commencement speech, let alone what was said.

It’s a disappointing situation, I can imagine, to be standing in front of a sea of faces, with your well-drafted and practiced speech laid on the podium, knowing that all they really want to hear is “Class Dismissed”.  All the words meant to inspire and encourage from all the speeches at all the high schools and colleges across the country will be as so much spit in the wind.

*sigh*  Still, what if I, though not super famous, was asked to speak at the commencement of my alma mater? 
 

Just for the sake of personal entertainment, I thought about what a speech written by me and intended for the current graduating class of my high school would sound like.  Knowing that they wouldn’t have a clue who I am – only that I graduated, “like..a hundred years ago and I’m not even famous or rich or anything.” 

To the Graduating Class of South Portland High School- 2013

Twenty-three years ago, I was in those seats, watching someone I did not know trying to tell me about what’s important and what I should do to make sure my future was as bright as it could be. I don’t remember who was standing where I am today, to be honest so I won’t blame you at all if you don’t remember who I am once you walk out those doors with your diplomas, let alone in 23 years, but here goes.

First,  I don’t have any advice.  I’m not you so I would not even begin to tell you what to do with your life.   I can tell you, however, what’s going to happen.

Up until this point in your lives, it’s all about being right.  The right class to take.  The right answers for tests. The right college to apply to.  The right dress to wear to prom.    From this point forward you’re going to be wrong about some things and some of you, I hope, will be wrong about EVERYTHING because it's going to be better than you can imagine right now.

Some of you will be wrong about the major you chose or the college you attend.  Some will be wrong about the branch of military you signed up for and some will be wrong about whether or not to join the family business.  

Most of you will give your heart to the wrong person or for the wrong reasons at least once.  Some of you will marry that person before you figure that out.  I'm sorry.   Some of you will be wrong about whom to borrow from or lend money to.  You will be wrong about which job to take, which apartment to rent, which house to buy, which car to lease, and which vacation to go on. 

Every one of you will be wrong about someone you thought the worst of.  Every one of you will be wrong about someone you placed great faith in.   You’re going to be wrong in your definition of “cool” or whatever you kids will be calling “cool” in twenty years. 

You will on occasion, say the wrong thing. 

Some of you will be wrong about the way your children turn out, for better or worse.

You will be wrong about what technology will be capable of.  Remember, when I was in your chair, internal hard drives had not been invented yet, and mobile phones came in bags the size of a lady’s handbag.   You’d have to wait a week to get your graduation pictures to find out Dad had his thumb over the lens in every one.  Now you can take a picture and see if worked out, instantly.  We could have never predicted that in 1990 or the fact that those photos can be shared with the whole family before you make it home tonight.

In addition to technology, you will be wrong about what you’re capable of.  You’re much stronger than you think you are because by the time you get to be where I am right now, you will have survived all the things you were wrong about and made a life for yourself despite it all

So, don’t ever be afraid of being wrong.  Being wrong a few times makes you flexible. Being wrong makes you able to think on your feet.  Being okay making mistakes means that you’re comfortable admitting it and comfortable apologizing if that’s what’s called for.  Sometimes you’ll be wrong about apologizing.  It happens.  

The people around you right now that you swear you’ll be friends with forever… Most of you are  wrong about that, but by the same token, you’ll be wrong about the ones you think you could never be friends with. 

Tragically, some of you will be wrong about how much to drink, who to get into a vehicle with, or whether or not something or someone is safe. Please prove me wrong on this one. I'd really like that.

That said, take a look around you.   Savor this moment.  For a few more days, be right.  Celebrate safely and thank everyone for supporting you.  Once the glitter of this moment wears off...that's when you can take a deep breath, go forth, and be wrong.

They're your mistakes to make.  Make the most of them.