Many would call me a yarn wimp.
I am intimidated by yarns. Really. I am. My usual "what the hell" nature is stymied in most yarn stores and I seldom buy more than one ball of any yarn in any colorway.
Right now, my stash looks like the discount bin in the back of the store. Truth be told, that's where I get most of my summa dis/summa dat yarn anyway.
Right now, my stash looks like the discount bin in the back of the store. Truth be told, that's where I get most of my summa dis/summa dat yarn anyway.
I thought to myself one day in mid-March that if I was going to buy only one ball, that it was time to figure out what this Noro stuff was all about and for some reason, I chose a colorway that is indescribable in its hideousness.
I tried. Believe me. I did. I can't help but draw similies in my head for what a yarn's colorway reminds me of and this stuff had me stumped.
I tried. Believe me. I did. I can't help but draw similies in my head for what a yarn's colorway reminds me of and this stuff had me stumped.
Cotton candy on acid. After a hit of heroin. Because it was out of meth.
Skittles vomited by a clown.
A clown vomited by a pink elephant.
A multi-racial Peep jousting event gone wrong.
You see where I am going with this. I had to be rid of it and since I had but little of it and it's colorway prevented a trade, I decided to fulfill my friend Jane's joking request for a toilet paper cover. I would create a toilet paper cover so large as to use every last inch of this obnoxious stuff and then felt it.
What resulted was a baskety shape large enough to hide the jumbo tub of cheese doodles I got for Christmas, but haven't made my way through yet.
After a trip though the washer, I was nervous. It was still big enough to hide a baby in. Hopefully, a blind baby.
The dryer didn't help either. Either Charmin was going to have to come up with toilet paper rolls large enough to wipe King Kong's bum...or I was going to have a hideous, useless, something or other to contend with.
So, I don't know what to do with this atrocity. Maybe some of you can suggest uses. I don't have the heart to foist it on a charity.
The dryer didn't help either. Either Charmin was going to have to come up with toilet paper rolls large enough to wipe King Kong's bum...or I was going to have a hideous, useless, something or other to contend with.
So, I don't know what to do with this atrocity. Maybe some of you can suggest uses. I don't have the heart to foist it on a charity.
Just having it in my possession is slowly bleeding mine.
Sooo....what do I do with it?
Best answer gets it. Leave a comment here or on Ravelry.
18 comments:
Colostomy bag cover. It's so breathtakingly hideous, it will distract from the bag of poo. Like painting something pink and erecting a Somebody Else's Problem field around it A La Douglas Adams.
I can use it to smuggle yarn purchases in the house.
Kenyetta on Ravelry
actually, it looks like a few more runs through the wash would felt it up tighter as there's still space there to felt together. I'd felt it some more (just keep throwing it in with the laundry) and the pop it on the coffee table for hubby to throw all his change in like he always does.........I could use a new bowl......LOL
Got kids? Add a fabric strip handle and they have a purse or gathering basket. Or put a large pot inside and use it as a planter diaper (to hide an ugly or plain pot) It is an interesting color blend, i have a thing about some pinks though so i am not the right person to ask, smile! Try the noro again, you WILL love it, truly!
Next years Easter basket for the Easter bunny. I think that's the only time you can use it. Offer it up to some mice for nesting material?
Turn it over, pop in a large planter, and, voila, a very colorful indoor planter?
kindling?
suzzcq70 on ravelry
I would suggest: Find a flower pot. Then turn the hat upside down, put the flower pot in it, and sew the borders with a few buttons to the side(in petal shape) Can't see it thrown away.
wow, it reminds me of the guy without a face from fat albert. maybe you could say it is a face cover for days you dont think you can face the world.
I think it would be fun to make a sort of relay-contest out of it. Whoever wins the hat has to add an embellishment then have another contest to pass it on. By the end of the year the hat could pass through several homes and weigh 50 pounds. Maybe a rule that any new additions to the hat have to be new colors as well? Also a rule that no winner of the hat could refuse the honor, except the guy who thought up this idea in the first place (me).
I think it's a pretty hat in lovely spring/summer colors. It would be good to keep the sun out of your face on the beach. The ruffles look like they would blow in the wind too on those windy days you still want to take a walk on the coast.
My 2 littliest girls one is 3 yrs old Alora and my youngest Athena who will be 2 yrs old May 21st The girls would love the hat to someone so young the hat would be gorgeous because of the bright colorway.They would fight over it see it as a treasure:)Darcy
knottyknitter40 on ravelry
This is easy. Unravel the top a bit, seam up the bottom and you'd have nice bag. I also second the idea of felting it...it would look better because the colors would blend better.
It could make a nice drawstring bag for a girl.
Sometimes Noro takes a while to felt ... don't bother with the dryer, just keep resetting the aggistation setting on your washer until it tightens up so you can't see stitch definition. It will be a nice change/catchall bowl for keys, etc.
I keep thinking it would be really a fun hat for a scarecrow -- I used to know an old lady who did a bunch of them everyyear, and scattered them around her yard and field, dressed garishly ... she got a 15 minute on "The Natinal" one year --- make a scarcrow and become famous!
How about a popcorn bowl? Or a cat bed/bowl?
Oh my Bob, I think I just peed myself reading this. You're an excellent and hysterical writer!
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